Addiction is much more than a physical war. It's a spiritual one as well. Addicts are battling so much more than meets the eye. Their demons are large and vast. And they're your demons now too. Once common distorted thought pattern I've discovered, is the addict is almost completely blind to what you are going through, to the pain YOU feel. They have this belief, that this is their problem, their battle and it has nothing to do with you. But of course we know better. We watch them hit their self-destruct button over and over and each time they chip away a piece of themselves, they take a piece of you down with them. And you don't even realize it yourself until your are kneeling in a 90 mile deep ditch, staring up at the narrow opening miles above you, wondering how the hell you fell so far, so quick and didn't even notice the plunge until you were drowning in mud. And as the loved one, when you reach this point my friend, this is where you stop fighting for them, and start fighting for yourself.
Chances are, up to this point, you have most likely heard distorted truth after distorted truth. That's a nice way of saying, "lie after lie" by the way, but according to the addict and the demons they carry with them, they don't lie. You have also most likely heard how horrible you are and in how many different ways, because they cannot possibly see these things in themselves. Instead they need to project their "stuff" onto you to make themselves feel better. So one important thing you will need to do, when you realize the earth has slipped from under you, is to start battling those negative thoughts that have taken up residence in your otherwise normally healthy mind. You will need to get out your virtual sword and start slashing away at those evil misbeliefs. IMMEDIATELY!! And start replacing them with positive thoughts. Force yourself if you have to. You have to be conscious of every thought that goes through your mind. This is called "retraining the brain". Now just to be clear, as much as you may want your addict to notice YOUR healing journey, YOUR self improvement, YOUR self progress... they wont. They cant. Because then they would have to admit they gave you something to heal from in the first place. And maybe they just aren't ready for that, YET... But hopefully, in due time, they will. Always think positive.
This is where my role as Reiki Master really became beneficial for me. Because I understand how every thought, feeling and emotion is an energy form that has attached itself to our energy system. I had to draw upon everything I've learned up to this point and put it into action and truly practice what I was I preaching. Not so easy. But you don't need to be a Reiki Guru or a Lightworker in general, to go through this healing process. This is why people like me exist. To put out there into the Universe the things we have learned along our way, to give you the benefit of what we learn. This healing work is also very beneficial to the addict, when they are ready for it. But for now, start with you. I'd also like to add, maybe you're saying to yourself, "I did this work already." Maybe you are reading this and thinking, "I have to do this AGAIN?" Yes, my friend, yes you do. The one thing I have been learning recently is that our inner work is never done. Just when you think you have a grip and have it all figured out, life will show you that there's always more to learn and more work to be done. Consider it another opportunity for growth and change.
So, going back to the healing work. Here are a few basics to help you along your journey. It's a condensed version. I know I'm leaving some things out, but if I really dug deep and went into every experience and every process, I would probably end up writing a book. If my attention span could even last that long lol.
2. Talk To Your Angels: Even if you aren't quite sure they are listening, continue to ask them for help and ask that they make their presence known in your life. And I assure you they will. But you have to ask before they can intercede.
3. Notice Your Blessings and Your Miracles: God and His Angels are always sending us tiny little miracles but you have to open your eyes and allow yourself to receive, or else you may miss it. And in any type of healing, noticing your blessings is always key. They help us to keep going. Life isn't all bad. It actually isn't bad at all. It's always in the way we perceive it. So perceive it as a learning experience and accept your miracles.
4. Retrain Your Brain: I know I started going into this before. Slash away all negative based thoughts and replace them with positive ones.
5. Be Gentle With Yourself: Treat yourself with kindness and respect. Don't get angry with yourself if you experience a setback. We all do. What matters most is what you do next. So dust yourself off and pick yourself back up my friend!
6. Use Affirmations: Don't just wait for the negative thoughts to creep in. Cut down their power in advance. Start your day with saying, "I love you", to yourself, in the mirror. Set alarms on your phone throughout the day saying, "I am beautiful", "I am worthy", "I am healed", "I am whole, healthy and happy". And add to them as you'd like.
7. See Yourself as a Child of God: At the end of the day, we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. Our souls agreed to all that has transpired in order to learn what you are meant to learn in this life. Trust the journey.
8. See "Your Addict" as a Child of God: This is much easier said than done. But once you start to realize that "your addict" is also on their own journey, that their soul agreed to this to help them learn, grow and even teach, the easier it will be to do the next step. You also need to fathom the notion that, just possibly, their soul signed up for this, not only to teach themselves, but to teach you. To help you grow. To help you learn. To help your soul to grasp. I realize this is a bit hard to swallow, but I can go deeper into this at some other point.
9. Forgive: In their healthy mind, they do not want to hurt you. They do not want to take you down with them. They do not want you to suffer. They love you. So set yourself free. Forgive them. And love them anyway. Love them the way God loves them. Forgive them the way God forgives them. And don't forget to forgive yourself. Don't forget to love yourself. Love YOURSELF the way God loves you. Forgive yourself the way God forgives you. Chances are you have kicked yourself in the head for each and every way you have enabled them. We do the best we can in this life. Sometimes we think we are doing the right thing, just to find out down the line that we were wrong. This doesn't make us unforgivable. This makes us human. Love... anyway.
10. Understand the Difference Between the Healthy Brain and the Addict Brain: I don't pretend to fully understand this myself but I do know that there is a HUGE difference. The addict brain has a complete mind of its own. It functions completely different. And when you start noticing the difference, it really helps you to put things in perspective. Addiction is a disease. And most of the time, they just aren't in control. Noticing the difference will also help make forgiveness easier.
11. Share Your Story: It doesn't need to be on a platform like mine. It doesn't even need to be shared with another person. Just write down your thoughts and your lessons. Let yourself reflect and process. Draw, paint... whatever your creative outlet is... do it. Invent one if you must. Its important you have a way of venting and talking yourself through the rollercoaster of emotions that occur every second.
12. MEDITATE: Praying is talking to God. Meditating is listening. Allow yourself the opportunity to receive your answers and insights. Allow the Universe the opportunity to help you through. Allow your mind a chance to travel outside its barriers of stress. Allow yourself the opportunity to merely exist peacefully.
You, my friend are important. You matter. And sometimes the best way we can help a fellow traveler, is to help ourselves first.
Just For Today:
I will let go of worry.
I will let go of anger.
I will do my work honestly.
I will give thanks for my many blessings.
I will be kind to every living creature.
Blessings, Love & Light...